THE ONE HUNDRETH THREE
SALAD ANTARCTIC CUISINE
A paper I must quickly
To jot these words that crowd my mind:
The galley lined,
The mess defined,
Three Bean Salad- One.
It means the freshies are all done.
Soon, with the passing of the sun,
We'll Three Bean Salad all the way
'Til by its light the planes find day
To bring us lettuce for our pay.
One sock two sock
Blue sock blue sock;
Every foot here wears the same socks
Except the ones who've cut the tops off.
Of Three Bean Salad there is more,
It's getting to be such a bore;
One bean two bean three bean
Mung bean string bean fling bean!
They're piled in the corner, and
Strewn upon the mess hall floor,
Hanging tapestry from the I beam
My night-mares are like three bean dreams.
Quoth the skua even: "No more!"
Can't we have four bean?
The cook I implore,
Or, how about two bean.
The cook points: the door!
It is said strange things happen
In the Antarctic Night,
A man will do most anything
For a head of lettuce not too ripe;
Or an apple,
Or a celery, wither'ed or not,
Ahh- what I can think of for a carrot!
Fresh of course, not canned-
Not sliced nor diced, but whole.
I would carry it to my garret
Hoard it smell it revere and marry it!
Wait! Its June. The Midnight Moon lights
Mid-winters endless night and
Airdrop comes with eggs all scrambled
And mail is in such a shambles.
The mail we can sort and read
(Thank God for those who care to write.)
But as Humpty Dumpty learned,
No glue will egg shell seal tight.
And lettuce! Let us find the lettuce;
They said to us they'ed send freshies
To ward off Three Bean Salad crazies
In the dark Antarctic night.
"Where's the lettuce?
Where's the Lettuce!"
Oh NO! That chute din't open
And the pallet's made a crater
And the freshies are all crushed;
Lettuce, toms and celery,
Carrots, rads and apples too?!
Quick, get a dozer over here,
I know just what we will do.
A great big bowl the crater makes,
We'll toss it with the dozer;
The splintered pallet use for toothpicks
When the salad feast is over.
Be quick now boys
And bring the dressing,
A hundred gallons should do just fine;
What's that, it's mayonnaise you want?
This line is Russian, that's Blew Cheese,
We don't have time for mayo please
The salad is about to freeze.
Jump right in!
Eat your fill!
Stuff it in your shirt and pockets,
Pack it under bed and lock it;
Eat and eat and eat until
We finish with this ballad
And its back to Three Bean Salad.
Back to Oso
Back to ajo
Copyright © 2003, A.J.Oxton, The Cat Drag'd Inn , 03813-0144.